Obama Enrolls at Grace College after Moving Manahan Speech

 December, 17 2011: Grace College and Theological Seminary President Dr. Ronald Manahan testified before the Congressional Subcommittee on Higher Education and Workforce Training. Grace College has gained national attention from its 3-year accelerated degree program and was invited to share their innovations. However, no one would imagine that a simple testimony from Dr. Manahan would result in the enrollment of President Barack Obama.

Pictured above: President Manahan speaking before the congressional 

There were no people more shocked in hearing the news than the subcommittee members themselves. On multiple occasions, Chairwoman Virginia Foxx was seen bobbing her head trying to remain coherent while Dr. Manahan drug out each sentence longer and longer. Larry Bucshon, the only representative from Indiana on the subcommittee might have been taken aback the most by the news. “Grace I hear is a great school, but I don’t know what Obama saw as convincing in that speech. As a fellow Hoosier I really wanted to see Dr. Manahan succeed, but after one-too-many pauses for “emphasis” I threw in the towel.”

Unfortunately, President Obama was not available for an interview, so for now the reason behind enrolling into a small, highly republican, liberal arts school in rural Indiana will remain a mystery. It is highly likely that Obama will expect to be granted a starting role on Grace’s nationally recognized basketball team after it was reported he had been “practicing really hard” on his private court while sporting his new Grace College jersey (number 23 of course!).

According to Aaron Crabtree, director of residence life, “we are very much looking forward to housing the President. We feel that the lifestyle and community of Beta Hall will align perfectly with Mr. Obama.

Aaron Crabtree isn’t the only one excited about the new student. Director of Campus Safety, Glenn Goldsmith is anxiously awaiting the arrival of “The Rock”, and the new challenges that come with. According to Glenn, “Grace College is already a highly secure facility. We plan on utilizing the tunnel system to privately and safely escort the President to his classes.  Glenn is also excited because the Campus Safety department was granted an additional $10,000, which according to Glenn, “we’ll probably just spend it all on some more of those sweet flashing light poles. Those are sweet”.