Students Reveal What They Want For Christmas

We polled 200 Grace students asking what they wanted most for Christmas; these were their responses.

1. Have a ring by Spring.

Pictured Above: Alpha food reheated for a 3rd time.

2. A $50 campus safety gift card.
3. The ability to fine campus safety.
4. Complimentary earplugs passed out at chapel.
5. An athletic team that for ONCE has a winning record.
6. An actual Student Union.
7. To have an option outside of subs for dinner.
8. Required febreezing for all students leaving Alpha dining.
9. Tofu in Alpha only four days a week.
10. To finally find the perfect guy. And by perfect I mean, one who is a biblical studies major, enjoys long walks on Winona Beach, likes to "check our mail at Mt Memorial," wants to get married the day of graduation, become RDs while attending seminary, move to Africa for missions, move back to WL to teach at Grace, retire and live at Grace Village, die together holding hands while we sleep.

Grace College "Thinking Inside the Box"

BREAKING: The semester may have come to an end a week ago, but the leadership of Grace College isn't taking a break when it comes to innovating higher education. From the men who "reimagined" the typical college semester, Aaron Crabtree and Jim Swanson are now in the final discussions with provost Bill Katip and president Manahan to establish a new class to be added to the Grace "core".

It is no secret that the board game, "Settlers of Catan" (pronounced Kuh-tahn) is a large part of campus life at Grace. This board game ranks high among conservative homeschool Christian families (right behind Dutch Blitz), which explains the popularity at Grace. Settlers of Catan is a popular event at open dorms, with numerous relationships forming because of the game. 

According to Aaron Crabtree, director of student life, and "Elite Catan player", this game could soon be a requirement for all students. Crabtree, who has seen the positive learning outcomes from this game believes this could be an additional hands on learning experience. 

According to Crabtree, "This game is perfect in so many ways. It's great because of all the lessons that can be learned. We play it in our resident life huddles because it provides great training for our RA's. In no other game do you learn to collaborate with others, compromise, and even manage conflict.

Pictured above: Settlers of Catan

Crabtree sees this game as offering transferable academic and life skills to any major. "For those majoring in psychology there are great ways to break apart every decision and analyze opponents. For the education majors it teaches students to effectively teach the rules of the game to those who have not been privileged to play. For the business students it applies real economic theories in a hands on experience. For the criminal justice majors...well, let's be honest, not even Catan can help them."

Grace is also considering reimplementing the Health Life styles class, and possibly adding the game "twister", as a new way for students to earn healthy lifestyle points. The popular interactive game "Operation" is also being considered as a  cost-effective training tool for all nursing students.

Obama Enrolls at Grace College after Moving Manahan Speech

 December, 17 2011: Grace College and Theological Seminary President Dr. Ronald Manahan testified before the Congressional Subcommittee on Higher Education and Workforce Training. Grace College has gained national attention from its 3-year accelerated degree program and was invited to share their innovations. However, no one would imagine that a simple testimony from Dr. Manahan would result in the enrollment of President Barack Obama.

Pictured above: President Manahan speaking before the congressional 

There were no people more shocked in hearing the news than the subcommittee members themselves. On multiple occasions, Chairwoman Virginia Foxx was seen bobbing her head trying to remain coherent while Dr. Manahan drug out each sentence longer and longer. Larry Bucshon, the only representative from Indiana on the subcommittee might have been taken aback the most by the news. “Grace I hear is a great school, but I don’t know what Obama saw as convincing in that speech. As a fellow Hoosier I really wanted to see Dr. Manahan succeed, but after one-too-many pauses for “emphasis” I threw in the towel.”

Unfortunately, President Obama was not available for an interview, so for now the reason behind enrolling into a small, highly republican, liberal arts school in rural Indiana will remain a mystery. It is highly likely that Obama will expect to be granted a starting role on Grace’s nationally recognized basketball team after it was reported he had been “practicing really hard” on his private court while sporting his new Grace College jersey (number 23 of course!).

According to Aaron Crabtree, director of residence life, “we are very much looking forward to housing the President. We feel that the lifestyle and community of Beta Hall will align perfectly with Mr. Obama.

Aaron Crabtree isn’t the only one excited about the new student. Director of Campus Safety, Glenn Goldsmith is anxiously awaiting the arrival of “The Rock”, and the new challenges that come with. According to Glenn, “Grace College is already a highly secure facility. We plan on utilizing the tunnel system to privately and safely escort the President to his classes.  Glenn is also excited because the Campus Safety department was granted an additional $10,000, which according to Glenn, “we’ll probably just spend it all on some more of those sweet flashing light poles. Those are sweet”. 

                

BREAKING NEWS: "1 Final Down, 2 to go!"

Pictured above: Anthony DePalo's creative Facebook profile picture

WINONA LAKE: Sophomore student at Grace College, Anthony DePalo has just announced a shocking and completely original statement regarding finals via social media. Details are still fuzzy at this time, but it is being reported by Mr. DePalo's recent Facebook status "1 final down, 2 to go!"

Sources close to the subject say Anthony has been seen posting other statuses, including, "can't wait for Christmas break!", "Tim Tebow is such an inspiration", and "this weather is really starting to tick me off! smh." These comments made by DePalo are said to possibly begin in a trend of pointless social media updates which no one really gives a crap about. If this is true, we could begin to see many more statuses and tweets regarding common things everyone already knew.

More details to come.

Alpha Hall Establishes New Student Section

Pictured above: Alpha Hall

WINONA LAKE: In order to keep up with a recent trend at Grace College, Alpha Hall residents have decided to establish a new student section. This news comes just after the newly established "Grace Block" (formerly Beta Block) was created because the "Redzone" was "lame".

The new Alpha student section is reserved just for Alpha residents, and will be located in the top rows of Section "A". According to leader Allison Langely, "with all of the new drama caused by new student sections, we felt left out. We aLpHa gIrLsss need to stick together! Our new section will be soo perfect, because like, it's super close to the women's bathrooms. So now after we eat at Alpha and nature takes its course, we will be in a prime location.

Langely hopes this new student section will provide the Lancers with motivation to be successful, while increasing community among the Alpha residents. There is no word yet on whether or not Indiana, Kent, or Lampost will be forming their own student sections.