CHA-CHING! College Just Got 90% Cheaper!

WINONA LAKE—After recently launching the new three-year degree program, Grace College is looking to reimagine education yet again.   According to provost Bill Katip, “We have done our research, and we believe it is possible to establish a one-year degree. We strongly believe this program will cater to homeschool students who fear being in a social environment for more than one year. “ 

This new program will not only be extremely cost-effective to future students, but will also reward those who are academically ambitious. Now students will be able to enter a stagnant workforce four times quicker than the average college graduate.

Senior student Timothy Horton had this to say about the new program. “I wish I would have known! Four whole years away from my mom and seven siblings is way too long!”  

Grace College President Ronald McManahan wanted to have some input on the new program. “We realize this program will not be for everyone, but we are also making sure not to compromise any of our standards.  The new 1 year program will still harp on character, competence, and service.”

Currently, the only degrees offered in the program will be German and Music. In order to squeeze in a full degree in just one year, students will be in class all year round from 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. College officials say they recognize the importance of breaks, so students will be granted a half-day on Christmas and a full day off on Easter.

Aaron Crabtree, Associate Dean of Students had this to say. “With this accelerated program, we recognize the challenges associated; four years was difficult enough for most students to find a soul mate.  With this new program we are looking to incorporate a speed dating section into freshman foundations. We believe even one-year students should have equal access to spouse hunting.”

The program is still in the design phase, so there is no name yet. Several ideas have been tossed around, including: Unimagine Your Education, The QuickE, One and Done, or the Bodin School of Excellence. Grace’s marketing contractor, BrandPoet, is looking for more suggestions though. So, if you have any ideas for what to name the program please email all suggestions to BrandPoet's lead on this project, Paul Thompson at thompson.paul@brandpoet.edu.